Monthly Archives: August 2013

Surviving an Assault and Appropriate use of force

Today i’m going to deal with one of the very sensitive topics in the self defense world. The “Appropriate Use Of Force” and can it truly help you survive a violent assault?

In today’s violent world, anyone can be attacked without any warning or signs. There are people who do not care about the law, about innocent people like you or your family. There are many situations where physical assault take place, from bullying in schools to mugging to home invasions, road rages, etc. All attackers in those situations have one thing in common, and that’s their Violent Intent. Those people don’t think or care who they’re gonna hurt, all they know is they are going to hurt to get what they want and once they have gotten it, they might not stop and might kill you in cold blood without hesitation.

We all were raised to follow the law and we do. But when we’re being attacked, the law isn’t  there to protect you, it is going to get involved though, but only after all the f’d up things have already happened to you and the irreparable damage has been done.

No matter how harsh it is, that’s the truth and i’m sorry to burst your pretty little bubble with the prick of reality! but you just can’t avoid that. when it comes to violence, there is no avoiding this kind of harsh reality.
Many people including self defense instructors will tell you to use “appropriate force” .

Well, first, let me ask you and them this, What is appropriate force? How do you know what’s appropriate? Which situation is it appropriate to do what? How would you measure it? Would you measure appropriate force when an attacker is coming at you wanting to beat the living shit out of you? Or when you and your girlfriend/wife/family member are being ambushed out of nowhere by two or more attackers with weapons? And when they’re raping them and forcing you to watch while they make a sandwich out of their shoes, your face and the concrete or in other words, “curbstomping” you by crushing your face with their shoes on the pavement or on edge of the sidewalk? huh?! Was that too graphic for your fragile little mind? hmm? Was i too harsh? Too mean? Well too f’ing bad! Because that’s how it happens! That’s the reality of it! You have to deal with it and for that, you first have to accept it and then f’ing get used to it! And do something about it by being prepared for it.
Now, you don’t wanna end up like the above mentioned graphic scenario, do you? Well, then throw the “appropriate force” bullshit away, unless you understand what it means, because when you’re being attacked, you can’t just be like “Wait mr. attacker! I want to “assess” the situation first, so i can use the appropriate amount force to defend myself and hurt you in an appropriate manner in the process and then we can go home and appropriately live happily ever after” And then make the cute face like this (^_^)… Well? Can you? Yes. Yes you can. But that’d be pretty f’ing stupid now wouldn’t it?

There is no time to do anything except fighting back.

There is no “appropriate force” when it comes to Real Violence. You’re not going to f’ing wait and see what’s appropriate and what’s not. NO!
When you see someone is coming at you violently, or when they’re already there beating the fcuk outta you, all you do is fight back with all you’ve got so you can survive! And you fear and hate that person with all your mind, body and soul during the whole time they’re on you and even after that. Anyone that has been in a violent situation will tell you the same thing.

You can’t think in those situations! You just have to.. Do! Do what’s necessary to survive and go back to your family alive and in one piece, and not end up beaten to a pulp, a bloody mess of many shreds and pieces.

So please, just stop with the “appropriate force” non-sense, alright?
Now if someone reads this, all they’ll think is “man! this guy is hell bent on killing everyone and now he’s asking us to do the same thing” or “if we do this we’ll definitely go to jail” blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. You can think all that if you want, see, if you’re thinking that, it only means that till now, you were lucky enough to have not faced with such violence and i’m happy for you, really. But can you predict the future? What if god-forbid you do face it someday? What then?
I’ll tell you what? If you’ve read this and remembered this, you just might be able to fight back without worrying about what the law is gonna do to you after the attack and instead worry what the attacker is gonna do to you during the attack if you don’t fight back, and what you’re gonna do to him so that you can survive, and when you do think and act like that, you’d have a chance of survival in violence.

Look i’m not saying that you should just go around breaking the law and killing everyone who messes with you or looks and walks towards you the wrong way. NO! That’s what the attackers i’m talking about here do to you and to others, because they don’t have the same respect for others lives and the law as you do.

What i’m saying is don’t think about what’s “legal” or “appropriate” in situations that could end with you ending up in a morgue or in a hospital bed. Although with the amount of damage you’d sustain during those violent attacks, you just might think of death as a much better option. Sad, i know, but it is what it is. Thing is, I know you don’t want to end up in jail, no one who’s smart does, but you don’t wanna end up in the hospital or a morgue either, i know i don’t.

Another thing is, there are many courses that do teach you about appropriate force and there’s no doubt they’re very valuable, they’ll help keep you out of jail if something does go wrong. I won’t say that i don’t teach appropriate force to my students/clients, because i do, but here’s the thing, that’s only for the common fights that happen, by common i mean non-life threatening and no weapons involved, but just some verbal or light hand use types of things, in those scenarios you won’t be removing a cleaver and start hacking everyone around you, no, you’ll deescalate and if necessary subdue the attacker, if necessary, that’s for a mildly violent situation, everyday common violence, etc.

But you never know who you’re messing with and even the mildest verbal argument might turn into a full fledged, weaponized, violent assault with multiple attackers coming out of nowhere on you, and you should be prepared for that.

So when it comes to that kind of violence, for me at least, the “use of appropriate force” means, appropriate “time & place” to use force and not the lethality of it. (Although i know that’s not what the law means by that).

You should know, that it’s our natural God given right to do absolutely anything and everything to ensure our survival along with our loved one’s and anyone or anything that wants or means to take that right away from us, is far from being our friend. 

So unless you or i get a 24/7 P.S.D or a Protective Service Detail on us, i think i’m gonna keep this definition in mind when it comes to my life or my attackers death, what about you?

Now that all the violent parts of this post have been said and done, I’ll get to the logical part.

Even though, i hate “Appropriate force”, it still exists as far as law is concerned, to put it simply, an example of appropriate force would be something like this;

Let’s say a mugger gets you, puts a knife or a blade to your throat or just stands at a distance with a weapon, let it be a gun or a knife or a blade or an acid bottle, or anything that he could use to hurt you, he asks you to give him all your valuables, now what do you do?

A- Do you violently beat the living daylights out of him until he dies from it?
B- Do you give him everything and run away?
C- Do you give him everything only to distract him and then beat the living daylights out of him then run away?
D- Do you not give him anything and let him kill you?

If you chose A, C, or D, you’re in trouble with the law. If you chose B, you’re safe. All he wanted was your valuables, in return you got your life back.

Now add one more thing to that situation, let’s say you gave him your things, if he runs away, you’re free, but let’s say for the sake of this example, he still won’t leave, now ofcourse this means; Red flag, he doesn’t want a witness describing him to the cops, now what do you do?

A- Run and let him chase after you, maybe he’ll give up.
B- Attack him enough to put him down to create an opening and run.
C- Attack him and beat him up, so he doesn’t get up and dies.
D- Stay there and be killed.

If you chose B, it means you know what appropriate force means.

Appropriate Force is not just sitting there and taking a beating or Staying on the scene and killing your attacker. This isn’t a soldier’s war you’re fighting, this is civilian life. Appropriate force means, when you know and are sure of the present danger, you will use only enough force on the attacker so you can create an opening for yourself and escape the situation alive, it is not to severely injure or kill your attacker, but to ensure your own safety and survival.

So, now i’ve posted both sides of the spectrum;

-One where you turn into the violent attacker you were supposed to be fighting and face the consequences of your actions.

-The other where you not only survive but also not be labeled the criminal yourself.

Something to think about, yeah?

Well, that’s it for today. Stay safe, Use Common Sense and Logic in your training and life.

Thank you for reading.