Monthly Archives: December 2015

Blame, Misinformation and The Need For Proper Education

When it comes to defining violence, most usually define it as occurring between skin color, religion, nationality, gender, etc. Now while those may be the causes and excuses of violence in our society, on a fundamental level, the violence occurs between predator and prey and that‘s how it‘s defined. A predator dominating it’s prey. That, on a fundamental level is the nature of violence.

 

When it comes to violence, there is no race, religion, gender, etc. There is just predator and prey. Those who use violence as a tool and those who become a victim of it.

 

Now why am I writing all this? Well, I was reading an article today about sexual assaults and in it, all the blame was directed at men and boys and how “every male is a potential rapist unless they’re educated properly” and I was like, “What the freakin‘ hell?!” Something like that really irritates me and it messes up what sexual assaults are really about. They’re not about gender, they’re mostly about power and control, about dominance over the victim and yes, in certain cases, pleasure too, as in pleasure derived from that dominance and violent acts committed during the assault.

 

When you write, “Blame the men” “Educate men”, it implies that all men are potential rapists, in that article‘s case, it actually said that. Which creates even more panic and paranoia and even less awareness about the reality of these attacks.

 

Any sane human, even a child, just ask a child if it’s polite to do something like that, even if you sugarcoat the question, that child will say no. Yes a male child. Even a child knows it’s not a good thing to do, it’s common sense. The problem isn’t educating men, the problem is not educating everyone properly about the reality of things. Blaming just one gender for the crime of a few, isn’t helping anyone.

 

The headlines shouldn’t read, “Educate men”, it should read, “Educate everyone correctly”. Both genders have committed sexual assaults and other violent attacks (acid, etc.) on the opposite gender and even on the same gender. It’s just that those cases aren’t “advertised” for profit and ratings by the media, because they don’t sell. In this country, those cases aren‘t even taken seriously, and the male victims are laughed at.

 

The thing is, rapists should be held accountable for their actions, but we, all of us are responsible for our own safety. By saying things like, “They shouldn‘t do that, even if we do this”, you’re basically handing over your safety to the predators out there. You are leaving yourself open.

 

It’s not about blaming the victim. It’s just about not leaving yourself vulnerable around predators. Would you cut yourself up and then go to a pride of hungry lions with an open bleeding wound? Now if the lions eat you, are they the “bad guys“? Or were you just not careful and smart enough not to do something like that? Am I blaming the victim here? Get the analogy? Yeah, that’s what you’re basically saying. Leave yourself open and a predator will target you and hunt you down, until it gets what it wants from you. Notice I’m writing “It” and not “He” or “She”, why? As I said, predators are not gender specific.

 

Back to the “educating men” thing, not all men are potential rapists, okay? Let’s just get that cleared up first. There is a difference between A Man and A Predator. An average man, is just another human, trying to do something in his life, just like an average Woman, trying to do something with hers, neither are enemies of each other.

 

A Predator on the other hand, again, is not gender specific or race or religion specific, it can be a Male or a Female or transgender, etc. etc. and all they want is an easy victim and not get caught doing what they want to their target.

 

We need to educate everyone, not just one specific demographic about the reality of violence. Oh and that information shouldn’t be differentiated as men vs. women, but predators vs. preys.

 

Now I know that there are those who actually do put the blame on the victim, but again, that’s because they themselves aren’t educated on the subject. Sometimes even other women don’t believe when a woman claims she was assaulted and even if she does, she doesn’t or can’t do anything about it, because they’re not well-informed on this topic, they don’t know the laws, they don’t know who to go to for these things and how to respond, so most just advise them to stay quiet (not a good thing to do btw, just fyi). Some do know the laws very well and exploit it to frame an innocent due to their personal vendetta and it’s because of those kinds of individuals that many don’t believe the real victims. Start with the individuals who exploit the law to destroy someone’s life. They need to be educated first, with the false claim cases going down, the real victims will be believed more often. Then move on to the others. Educate them on why these assaults happen, how and where they happen and what they can do to prevent them. That’s exactly what the legit self protection instructors try and do, in turn they’re labeled victim blamers.

 

The thing is, not all instructors who write and say these things are “blaming the victim”, in fact we think that the predators are the ones to blame for the attack, no one asks to be attacked, no one smart and sane at least. All we are doing is providing proper education and information to further prevent these attacks from happening. We hate those predators and want these attacks to stop, but we know they won’t, they can’t be, there is no surefire way to stop them, so instead, we provide information that would at least help reduce these assaults significantly and do what we can to help make some kind of difference in this society. Not blame victims, but help reduce the number of victims created by those predators.

 

Now another thing, just because the predator is to be blamed for the attack, it does not mean that the rest of us are relieved of our responsibility of personal safety. We are all responsible for our own safety. Handing over that responsibility to someone else, is the worst possible thing anyone could do and when you say, that “they shouldn’t rape” you’re basically giving them the responsibility of your safety, you‘re telling them indirectly that, “we won‘t keep ourselves safe and use prevention methods to protect ourselves from you, instead, you stop targeting us”. Do you think that will work? No self-respecting predator will take that kind of talk seriously. In other words, Predators won’t stop just because you ask/tell/order them to. They don’t care about you or the society and it’s laws. That’s just the way it is. No matter how much you “educate” them, if it’s in their nature, if they have strong predatory instincts and if they’re in an advantageous position and get the opportunity, you can be sure it will happen. Thinking it won’t happen is an idealistic way of thinking, it‘s how you want it to be, it‘s not what it is. That kind of thinking is what creates more victims everyday.

 

Just think of the lion example I gave above, you wouldn’t go to a pride of hungry lions with an open bleeding wound, then say, “Oh let’s educate them on how not to attack vulnerable prey”, you do that and you’re dead, but you’re smart enough not to, right? So, if you won’t do that, why try and do the same here? It’s not only ineffective, but it’s highly illogical. These are predators, they will look for, hunt and victimize weak and easy targets, it‘s in their nature, it‘s how they work. It’s on us, to not be a potential target for them, to deter them.

 

Every animal has a defense mechanism to deter predators, they don’t try and educate their predators, instead they form a defense mechanism that automatically “educates” the predator if/when it tries to attack or they take prevention measures that makes them unnoticeable by the predators or makes them look like a hard target, which drives the predators away. It’s the same principle for us, just the strategies would differ.

 

There’s a lot of misinformation out there, which creates a lot of misinformed individuals who then try to form ineffective solutions to a problem that they don’t fully understand or at all, which in turn does more harm than good. Instead of making males the enemy of the female gender and creating paranoia among women, we should be trying to get both the genders to work together and form proper solutions to fighting off predators and preventing these assaults, predators are the real enemy, not males, we should be helping both genders understand the difference between an average individual and an actual predator, rather than pitting us against each other, create paranoia and make things even worse for everyone. Sometimes, due to that kind of thinking, some individuals actually refrain from helping, fearing that they might be caught in some kind of legal trouble.  Which creates another victim. The reason most don’t intervene is because they’re not aware of the laws and rights, add another factor of something going wrong during the intervention and you really do land in legal trouble, police has one job, to maintain the law, they won‘t care if you were trying to help a woman being attacked, they will only care that you bashed the attacker‘s skull in and the attacker is lying in his own pool of blood, you‘re the attacker now, time for jail. So, not having proper knowledge of how to intervene or not knowing whether you should intervene and when, lands you in trouble, not the intervention itself, get it? Good.

 

Again, educating people on how to identify predators, their behavior patterns and what prevention measures should/can be taken to avoid being a victim is what’s going to help reduce these kinds of assaults. Not spreading misinformation, creating fear and panic for profit and ratings. Hope I got my point across here today.

That’s it. Thank you for reading.

How Predator Mindset Works.

First things first, A predator doesn’t just attack out of the blue, even though the prey feels that way, the fact remains that attacks don’t happen out of nowhere. There are signs and precursors to an attack that most fail to identify.

Commonly referred to as pre-contact cues by many, these are the signs that help you identify a potential threat and take appropriate action/s to combat and escape the said threat.

A predator follows a pattern of thought and actions that is ingrained in every predatory species by nature. Humans by nature are predators too. Even though some don’t realize it. We have that instinct in us. It just is subsided by the social engineering throughout our childhood and continued well into adulthood.

Some are virtually impervious to that conditioning or just resist it.
Some lack the psychological capacity to grasp the conditioning due to biological factors.
Some train in a way to relinquish that conditioning.
Some are conditioned and brought up in an anti-social and hostile environment and are the products of their environment.
Some are more in touch with their violent instincts despite their environment.

No matter what, there are individuals who are in touch with those predator instincts and when the time comes to act on those instincts they follow a similar pattern to the other predators.

 

The predatory pattern is as follows:

Search: In this phase, the predator looks for an easy target by scanning the environment. They will pick the most vulnerable, most unaware target, with the most value and success rate.

 

Identify: The identification phase begins immediately after the search stage is complete. When they acquire their target, they will scan their target and look for openings and weak points of their target. Their body language, etc. This phase is an enhancer to the search phase so they can confirm their target and begin their next phase.

 

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Stalk: After identifying a target, most predators will follow their prey for a while, now this can be for a few seconds to a few minutes to days, weeks, months and sometimes even a year until they make their move. This depends on the type of target and the predator, for example, kidnapping a high profile target requires a lot of reconnaissance and intelligence, etc. To plan an immaculate kidnapping. On the other hand, mugging someone in an isolated or lightly populated location or snatching a purse from someone in market place or at night when they’re going home from work, in those situations, the predator may only follow for a few seconds or a minute before making a move.

 

Trap: The next step immediately after stalking is trapping the target, so the prey doesn’t escape, until the predator gets what they came for. This will include cutting off the exit, overwhelming the prey with intimidation tactics to induce panic, which will trigger the flight or fight response, including the freeze response, ensuring that the exist routes have been sealed for the prey and if the prey does try to escape, chances would be high, that they would make a fatal mistake.

 

Ambush: This next phase isn’t next, as it’s part of the Trap phase. Ambush is integrated in the trap phase, but for the sake of analyzing the predator mindset, I cut it up and put it in a different section. Ambush is where the predator initiates the attack. It can either be a solo attack or it can be a group. This phase is where the prey is overwhelmed, leaving them almost no time to react. Notice I said, ‘Almost’. Meaning there will be time. Just not enough, if the prey doesn’t know what to do or how to do it.

 

Attack: Final phase is the attack itself, after the initiation of the attack, classified as an ambush, this phase is also a part of trap and ambush, it consists of the physical assault itself, this phase is where the prey is injured and/or killed if it fails to escape or fight back.

 

Aftermath: Is the additional phase that only applies in the human society, this phase involves, psychological trauma, physical trauma, paranoia, depression in the victim that survives. The family will go through psychological trauma and similar other effects if victim doesn’t survive. If the victim survives by killing the predator, and is convicted due to certain laws, legal consequences will be added to above mentioned effects.

 

Now, am I writing this to scare the living daylights out of you? Maybe… Sometimes you just need a good scare to snap the hell out of whatever fantasy world you’re living in and I think this fairly detailed article might do that for some individuals, but here’s the thing, even if I wrote it to “scare” you, that doesn’t make what I wrote untrue, okay?

On the contrary, I’m writing this so you can understand the predatory mindset and try to reverse engineer it, to keep yourself safe and be a hard target.
Now many will ask, ‘How to reverse engineer it?’

Here’s how, as an example, take the first phase of a predatory attack, ‘Search’. Now if you fail the predator’s test in this phase by not being an easy target, a valuable target, the predator will pass you over for an easier (than you) target. That’s it. That’s self protection. You prevented the attack from happening in the first place.

You won’t even need to apply reverse engineering to the other phases, because you won’t be there in the first place, you’re gone, safe home.

Of course if you fail to fail the first predator test, there are ways to reverse engineer other phases too, all it takes is the right kind of training. If I start to write an article on that, it will go on for hundreds of pages, as there are virtually countless possibilities and virtually countless methods to reverse engineer them.

Now mind you, I’m not talking about techniques here, no, I’m talking about strategies of reverse engineering them, not, ‘How do I put them in a flying armbar?’.

Here’s the thing, if you only understand the principles of violence and the predator mindset, you won’t need to know millions of things and train them for another million years, no, you’ll just need a handful of effective principles, and in case if things go awry, some physical and psychological methods to keep yourself safe.

Hopefully, I was clear enough in conveying the message I was trying to send in this article. If not, here’s a simple message; Train Realistically.
Well, that’s it. Thank you for reading.

 

Additional notes –

  1. This article just describes the predatory behavior at the basest level. There’s much more to it than these phases, but these phases give you an understanding of the predatory MO, on a fundamental level.
  2. Not all assaults are as physically violent as described in the article, in some cases, psychological manipulation and threats are used rather than physical intimidation so that the predator doesn’t leave any evidence or any physical evidence to actually be convicted in the court of law.
  3. Fundamental predatory behavior is used by generally anyone who victimizes individuals weaker than them and on those they see as easy targets, this ranges from a mugger, to a hostile psychopath to female predators to a sociopathic playboy who manipulates women into doing things that they may not want to or even an abusive spouse. It doesn’t just apply to one type of psychopath/sociopath or one gender, etc. Predators are predators, regardless of their origins, etc. They don’t follow the same societal etiquette as the rest of us. Examples in the article were given only as a means to get the point across.
  4. Predators are all around us, at work, at school, in your neighborhood, but there are different kinds and levels of predators.
  5. Not every individual can be considered as a zero threat, but not every individual is a highly dangerous psychopath either.
  6. Fear is different and paranoia is different, while fear is an essential part of our safety, paranoia isn’t. Having a paranoid state of mind does not equal being aware or vigilant, it’s the opposite in fact. It’s Hyper-vigilance and it isn’t healthy for you or helpful to your safety. Embrace fear, but don’t live with paranoia.
  7. Some have a predatory mindset which they utilize to get ahead in life (one example can be the career driven aggressive gogetters, they appear to demonstrate many sociopathic traits, doesn’t mean they’re serial killers). Some utilize predatory behavior to hurt others in numerous ways for their pleasure and personal gain.
  8. Know the difference between someone who just has the mindset of a predator and someone who actually is a predator.
  9. Misidentification can lead to a lot of complications for everyone involved (Refer to the paranoia point no. 6 above). Be careful and Be sure first.

 

That’s it. Thanks again for reading.

The Unique, The Average and The Outcast.

‘Be a voice, not an echo’ – Albert Einstein.

In this world, we all play our parts, we all have our purpose, even those that think they don’t have one, do have a purpose, it’s just a matter of time. There are different people with different mindsets and different goals. There are those who stand alone, then there are those who follow, but there exist a few who lead.

I prefer to categorize these three types of individuals as;
-Outcast.
-Average.
-Unique.

The ‘Outcasts’ are usually the ones who don’t follow social norms, the law breakers, the ones who don’t fit in anywhere in groups, either ostracized due to their thinking or are isolated by their own choice. These are the ones who are removed from the society, even though not all of the ‘Outcasts‘ are criminals, they are still viewed by the society as “odd” and “weird“. They have the potential to be great, to be ‘Unique’, but they squander that potential by not acting on it, acting upon their ideas, some willingly don‘t and some just don‘t have the means to bring their ideas to fruition, and ideas without action are just dreams and fantasies.

The ‘Average’ are the ones who just follow one another, they lack the capability to create their own paths, so they follow a path that’s made by others, they follow each other or someone they see as superior to them, they follow the set rules about things, like get an education that everyone is getting, get a job that everyone gets, get married like everyone does, have kids like everyone has, so on and so on. Average individuals are content in their lives where they don’t want to or have to achieve something more than they have. They need security in their lives and taking risks is never on their agenda.

Then finally, there are the few rare individuals, The ‘Unique’ ones, these are the ones that change the world with their actions, these are the ones who always aim for something high and make an impact on everyone, an impact that leaves their mark on the society, no matter how big or small, their actions influence people, their actions inspire people, it doesn‘t matter how many people they inspire, the impact can be as huge as global or it can be as small as just in their own society, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that the impact is positive, which enables others to achieve their goals and possibly be unique themselves. The ‘Unique’ individuals also have the similar traits to the ‘Outcasts’, they don’t follow social norms, they don’t blindly follow others, no, the ‘Unique’ individuals are leaders, they lead, they create, they inspire. They don’t just dream, they don‘t just have ideas, they act on them too, which makes those ideas into a reality. Unique individuals not only take risks, but they make smart choices while taking those risks. The risks they take brings them face-to-face with failure often more than once, but through their persistence, they move forward and lead.

But like I said in the beginning of this article, we all play our parts in life and the types of individuals above need to exist for our society to function. If everyone was an Outcast, no one would be, if everyone was Unique, no one would be and if everyone was average, then there would be no inspiration in our society to do something to take us to another level, all of the individuals who were and are Unique, who make a difference, without their existence, without their innovative thinking, we might still be in the dark ages of our history. Even the Outcasts teach us what not to do in life, we can learn so much from their mistakes, so even their existence is crucial for others to understand their own purpose in life and their own place in the society.

Whatever you’ll be, will be due to the choices you make and the thoughts you think.
I’m doing my best and then some to be Unique, to make a positive impact on this world, what about you? Ask yourself, which one are you? Do you lead, follow or just stay put?

That’s it. Thank you for reading.