Tag Archives: Smart

Training Tip 2

Verbal and Body language Training Tip

 

Use firm tone of voice, not aggressive, learn to calm your emotional trigger response while talking to an aggressive individual. Never tell someone to calm down. What to say depends on the context and gravity of the situation, so think before talking. Learn to use proper body language, make it so it does not appear aggressively challenging or dominating nor does it make you appear as someone to be bullied and dominated, it should be strong enough to convey you’re not someone who will be victimized without a fight (if necessary). Never use challenging terms such as “What are you going to do? Kill me? Hit me?” etc. etc. Give clear verbal commands. Keep your eyes in all possible directions to detect an anomaly; i.e. multiple assailants, concealed weapon/s, witnesses, escapes. No direct eye contact, but don’t look down, look straight, not up, chin should not be up, that showcases pride and territory dominance. Don’t take a fighting stance. Don’t stand too close to the other individual and don’t let them get close to you, it’s an invitation for a sucker punch or a stab. In a social situation, try to give the other individual an out to save face in front of their peers. Try and calm the individual by letting them know the fight isn’t worth the reward (this can backfire if not phrased properly).

 

Tell your training partner to not act like one and be aggressive in verbal language with you. To scare you and activate the stress response in you, to provoke you emotionally and try to get you angry, to activate adrenaline and as a result, your Flight, Fight or Freeze response. Play ambient sounds here as well, while doing the scenario, as you need to be used to the distractions that will occur in an actual social setting, the surrounding noises, yells, screams, etc will distract you and that might be the moment you get the first hit. So train to be more focused on the threat, while being focused on the surroundings. Pay attention to the sounds in the background while talking. Remember them, then after, describe them at the end of the training. See how accurate you are. You need to be able to multitask. Try creating some other physical distractions as well, get some people to walk by or try and get your attention to distract you, see how focused you can remain while talking to the main threat. This will also help you remember things better during and after the situation. It can help you describe the situation better in the aftermath when you’re being debriefed by the police officer on scene.

 

There are a lot more details and much more to this, but this covers the very fundamental level training tips you can utilize to deescalate a situation that doesn’t need to get worse.

 

For avoidance, just don’t go to places or hang out with individuals who are always looking for a reason to fight and you’ll be safe.

 

Well, that’s it. Thanks for reading. Any questions or want to ask more details on this training tip, write them down in the comments.

Training Tip

I’m gonna keep this one short. This is just a training drill I used to do to train for physical violence. Any questions or doubts or details you wanna know about, write them down in the comments down below and I’ll answer them.

 

Workout till muscle fatigue (not injury), get tired, get adrenalized, then do scenario training. Don’t wipe off the sweat, don’t hydrate, play loud music or just ambient sounds, dim the lights or turn them off, depending on the context of the scenario you’re gonna do. Make sure, your training partner doesn’t act like one and comply. Make sure the simulated assault is an ambush. Make sure you do it in a confined space with one exit. Train in a car, bus, train, etc. Do it in different terrains and in different seasons at different time of day. Make sure the assault taking place is at least around 60-70% force. (May/will require some sort of training gear). Use weapons. Involve everyday objects. Add multiple threats. Dynamics will change according to the location, and the type of situation you’re training for.

I used to do this (before my injuries) and change it up according to the situation we were training for. If you have injuries that you don’t want to bring back up, I’d recommend you to avoid this training or just tone some of the things down that might make the injuries worse.

Caution: There are side effects of over-working muscles. So, never work till failure or to the point of injury, just till you’re extremely tired and breathing heavily and sweating immensely. Injury just leads to regress, you’ll just waste your time with an injury. Cardio, HIIT workouts can be good before this type of training drill.

Remember, at the end of the day, you’re a civilian and not a professional who deals with violence on a daily basis as a part of your job, so you can avoid majority of the threats and violent situations by staying away from such people who look for an opportunity and a reason to commit violence against others.

 

Well, that’s it. Thanks for reading. Any questions? Write them down in the comments section below.

Women’s Day Seminar.

So in a “short” (wink wink, not really short) article today, I’d like to tell a story of the seminar I did. It was originally 1hr, which got extended to 2 due to me having to explain more than I thought I would and due to my incessant talking when I teach. I always encourage people to ask me questions, even during the session, it just helps me to teach better and provide more info, another reason why it got extended.

So, all was going good, and a participant, told me that they were taught these “simple techniques” to deal with “attackers” in another seminar with a Martial Arts instructor (I think most will see where this is going after reading that) she went through some time ago and she wanted me to teach her some similar ones in 1hr.

Now in my seminars, I focus more on prevention than fighting as it’s a scientific fact that you can’t learn the physical techniques, even gross motor and form neuromuscular pathways by utilizing neuroplasticity in one day in just an hour. You especially can’t learn them and retain them in an adrenalized situation and expect to use them under stress, and if you never practice it again after that day, you can be sure that you will waste time thinking more than you should, rather than acting in the moment.

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So anyway, even though I wanted to yell, I remained calm as an instructor should, and I asked, “Which techniques?” “Can you demonstrate?” “Even just one of them would suffice“ Their answer? “I can’t exactly remember which ones, but there was hitting with hammer (I think she meant hammerfist) and scratching (gouging she meant.. I think) and they were simple” I mean.. what the actual f-word man?! Does this not seem odd to people when they say these things? It’s like they’re brainwashed so badly by these instructors who have never had any experience with actual violence in their whole lives and teach people on how to survive it by looking up some idiotic “safety tips” on the internet via google or maybe their seniors passed some down to them when they were certified as an “expert black belt instructor god” and is a part of the curriculum and then charge a lot of money for it. They are actually blind to these obvious things and misinform people as a result. It’s so sad…

Now in the above example, this was a calm situation in which she couldn’t remember those “simple techniques”, I wonder what would happen in an actual situation where she wouldn‘t even be able to recall her name. Here’s the good thing though, I did explain to her about how the logic is flawed here and she kinda understood, at least I hope she did, for her safety’s sake.

Not to mention I did my infamous “Who here is willing to kill and would be capable of killing another human being up close and personal with a knife?” bit, which of course, the way I describe a stabbing (the way it actually occurs and not the way people think it does, all clean and stuff. See my other articles or posts, or some of my fb posts, I think I‘ve mentioned it once or twice about what happens or at least the gist of it), so, yeah, no one seemed to want to feel metal penetrating skin and human blood spattering across their face.. Huh… go figure.

Oh and the countless imagined “scenarios” that came up today, one after other I kept tearing them down and they kept bringing them up, but bringing up fictional solutions to imagined problems is something that I don’t do. I’m a realist, as you know, if you’ve read my posts or know me personally. So, in the end, logic prevailed and many did grasp the concept of prevention being better than cure.. or prevention being the cure itself (Credit to Barry Drennan from Fairbairn Protocol for that piece of wisdom).

Besides all that prevention training, we also did some situational training, just to give them an idea of how the dynamics would work, in car/cab/taxi services like OLA and UBER, how their systems work and some general common sense tips like seating position in the car, some verbal communication skills, etc.

Anyway, all in all, I think it was a good seminar, I had fun, it looked like the participants had fun too, and as long as they understood even the fundamental concept of what I explained to them, which I think they did, because they said it and repeated it when I asked them a few questions about it, about prevention and why it’s necessary to focus on it, especially when you just have one hour to learn and the fact that you’re not gonna continue training after this hour is over. I really hope they did. I think, overall, I would chalk it up to being a success and good thing that I was able to clear up some misconceptions, and since there were like 60+ women there, I see it as 60x success!

I’m just glad that all the participants were so open-minded and willing to listen, to accept and learn, to let go of any misconceptions, and the fact that they asked questions, is what I loved the most, some of them might’ve been off, but the willingness to ask questions, is the first step, then asking the right questions is next, which many did as well. See I don’t mind if someone doesn’t know something in depth, what I mind is those who aren’t willing to keep an open mind, to accept the fact, that they don’t have all the answers, hey, I don’t, but that’s okay, that’s why we learn, that‘s why we train, that‘s why we ask questions. So I’m really glad I got to do this one today, it really was awesome.

I don’t usually write articles about the seminars I do, but I was possessed by a rant angel and it just spilled out and I did.

Oh and I got this super cool improvised wea…I mean a pen! For the seminar I did! Yay!

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If you’re wondering what’s the point of this article? Well, many points actually;

  1. One about the misconceptions, confusions, misinformation and disinformation in this field.
  2. Another is about people’s dangerous mindsets about what violence actually entails.
  3. Third is the problem of people just forming fictional solutions to problems they create, rather than forming helpful ones that would solve or at least reduce the chances of them becoming a victim of actual threats.
  4. Fourth would be attending a seminar for an hour or two, every three or six months or so, won‘t actually make you proficient in physical combat, especially not under a stressful situation, so rather focus on using some common sense and focus on prevention, especially in a relatively low crime city like Mumbai.
  5. Fifth would be, no one wants to deal with the consequences of using a knife, but still want to learn to use it (irony at its finest).
  6. Sixth would be logic prevails, if people are willing to listen and accept.
  7. Seventh, actuality is different from your truth and reality.
  8. Eight, I talk a lot when I teach.
  9. Ninth, Too much ego in the Martial Arts field. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s too male dominated as well (kinda ironic that I, a male, is writing this, yes, I see the irony here), especially here and not many are willing to admit they’re wrong ever. (Although, not all Martial Artists are that way, I don‘t generalize, ever. And for those rare exceptions, I have the utmost respect, they know what Martial Arts are actually about).
  10. Tenth, I wasn’t criticizing the participants today, they were unbelievably awesome, and willing to ask and learn. What I was criticizing is the number of b.s. information on this subject that’s in this field, mostly propagated by those who claim themselves as experts, but have no shred of idea what violence actually entails (that includes the consequences of it).
  11. Eleventh, when you attend a seminar or a training session claiming to teach self-defense, don’t just blindly accept what the instructor tells you, see if it’s logical, ask them questions to elaborate more, the more you ask, the more you know. Just ask the right questions to get the right answers. See if what they teach makes sense, you don’t deserve to be fooled by a money grubbing scumbag, you deserve the right information, especially if it pertains to your (and your family‘s) safety.
  12. Twelfth, we also discussed that in a male dominated field, most instructors will show you things that pertain to the confrontation types that men come across, not the types of situations that women do.
  13. Thirteenth, as instructors, we are seen as individuals who provide knowledge on how to be safe, it’s our responsibility to deliver the best quality of training that is practical and tailored to the different types of individuals we train.
  14. Finally, fourteenth, all my articles have some sort of a point, even if I have to dig them up out of nothing…(lol not really though, it’s all up there in the post 😉 ).

Well, that’s it. Thanks for reading. I was actually just gonna rant about this on facebook, but it got too long (as usual) so…it became an article…eh..

Happy Women’s Day and Stay Safe, readers (and non-readers)! 🙂

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Pickpocketing.

Even in a low crime city there’s always petty crimes. Petty crimes like pick pocketing, purse/chain snatching, etc. The only thing that remains the same, is the fact that taking preventive measures to keep ourselves safe from these crimes, is our responsibility.

This article actually popped up in my head after thinking about a usb drive I lost a few years ago, due to my carelessness, it was the first and last time I have ever lost anything in my pocket. The usb had all my favorite songs, my pictures and videos of seminars I had done, some miscellaneous funny pics and over 1gb worth flight simulator X add-ons. There was nothing too important like passwords or login information to any sites. Adding insult to injury, I didn’t back up any data on it before I lost it. Had to replace all of it from memory. I did recover just about all of it within a few weeks. But losing that usb was quite a wake up call for me to be more careful of what I carry out and what I don’t.

I took that usb out because I was going to transfer some pics of my security training and seminar from the kind people at Reliance. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. Now why did I mention that? Well, it’s because, sometimes, we are in a situation where we need to take something out of the secure place it’s in and bring it in the outside world. Not everything is in our control, but what’s in our control is making sure we reduce the chances of losing it or it being stolen, if/when we do take something important out.

Below I’ve written some simple things you can do to make sure the contents of your pockets aren’t stolen or lost. Principles remain the same due to the fact that the things have to be taken out of your pockets for you to lose them. This article is more geared towards safety from pick-pocketing and just making sure you don’t lose something that’s in your pocket. Purse/chain snatching, etc. requires a similar, yet a little more pro-active approach. Many of the principles do still apply.

So, to begin;

  1. Even though I mentioned a point about this above, I’ll still include it; Never take anything with you, that you don’t wanna lose, if you can help it.
  2. Never carry small things without its original casing or any other thing that you can put it in (carry bag, plastic pouch or a wallet); Small things are hard to keep track of and can be lost easily, bigger things are easier to keep an eye on.
  3. Never keep it in a shallow pocket, it can easily fall out or be taken out, without you noticing.
  4. Keep it in a pocket that’s tight enough that the contents can’t be removed without you feeling the hand in your pocket or fall without you feeling it fall out.
  5. Keep checking the contents in your pocket every 5 minutes or so (this can vary depending on many factors like where you are, will you be sitting, standing, running, how long, whether it’s a crowded place or not, etc.), even if it’s just feeling it out from the outside.
  6. Avoid removing anything from your pockets in public, especially crowded places, if you need something, try and remove it before hand and make sure nothing else falls out with it.
  7. Which brings me to the next point of never crowding and filling your pockets to the brim. Easiest way to lose something or it being pick-pocketed.
  8. In places where these things happen a lot, I.e. train stations, public parks, etc. Be cautious of people’s hands. Keep an eye on people’s hands and the direction they’re walking in. People who have nothing to do with you, will often avoid colliding with you, but those who want something in your pockets, will not avoid that collision, as that‘s their window of opportunity.
  9. Avoid keeping anything in the back pocket, it’s the one place you can’t always keep track of; I.e. your six.
  10. Be careful of the diversions, sudden collisions, feeling something on your back, someone pushing you, etc. etc. They might be a diversion to distract you while the other guy takes the contents out of your pocket and runs/walks the other way without you seeing and knowing it happened.
  11. Try having an inner pocket for the most important things. If you don’t have one, stitch it in. Add a pocket to your jeans or t-shirt on the inside and keep the important things in that.
  12. Of course, the most cliched point will be added by me like a broken record, I.e. be environmentally aware. Keep a look out for any odd behaviors (example mentioned above in no.8).

Well, that’s it. These are some of the things you need to pay attention to, so that you can make sure you don’t lose something that may very well affect your life, career, identity, sentiments, emotions, etc. Yes, it can be stressful for many.

Note- Now I know it might seem silly and downright stupid, but this post is kind of dedicated to my lost Toshiba USB drive. I miss you 😦

Finally, Thanks for reading! Like, share, if you found it useful!

 

Edit – I wanna add one thing related to Point no. 5. When I wrote keep checking your pocket every five minutes, it’s not some kind of a rule, or any specific number. It was meant to state that checking your pockets at fairly regular intervals, depending on where you are, can at least make you aware of anything that has fallen out or stolen. This is especially applicable if you’ve just felt a hand brush against your legs or hips or waist. It also can be applicable if you’ve just sat down and your pockets are at an odd angle (in this case, avoid putting anything in that pocket).

It doesn’t have to be a full on check, just a simple nonchalant pat once in a while is more than enough.

Alright, that’s it.

Training for actuality of violence

When most people, especially instructors are asked whether they train realistically, their answer is usually ‘yes’. But when you see them do their “realistic stuff”, it seems pretty far and out of touch from reality. It seems that their concept of reality is different from the actuality of it.

 

Recently, I asked an individual a simple question, “How, would you say, a real violence training should look?” The individual replied in a very cliched way and went on about how the opponent should come at you aggressively, yelling and stuff, etc. I asked him in return, “Would you see it coming?” He didn’t have a proper answer, but yet tried to say something and ended up saying just “Yes”.

 

Now, here’s the first problem of things with this. Most tend to see these things from a purely physical perspective. Not many seem to focus on the pre-violence situation. No verbal cues, no tonal changes, no physiological changes, no physical positioning, no symptoms of ASR, etc. etc. In fact, most don’t even acknowledge it even exists. Which kinda poses a problem when we are “training for violence”, doesn’t it? I mean if you don’t train to see it coming, what are you preparing for? To get out barely alive and half dead?

 

So, realistic training? What does that entail? Well, if you ask me, the drills should focus more on the pre-violence cues than anything really, physical aspect of it should not be choreographed, no matter how “aggressive” the other guy is, (let’s be honest here, he‘s really not truly angry or aggressive in most cases). Superficial aggression is utterly useless, you don‘t have to kill them, but all of the pseudo aggressive and “hard” movements are nothing but taps in actuality, are you really gonna learn how it feels to get hit by being tapped on your chest? No, you are not.

 

Let’s take a situation here, if I am in a big fancy Martial Arts studio, and I’ve been told to rush and charge this guy in order to demonstrate “the harsh reality of violence”, and I charge at him, but the guy knows I‘m coming, ‘cause, you know, He Told Me To! He‘s READY for his “moves”, there is no sudden jolt to his nervous system, no emotional stress, no adrenaline dump, and I didn’t try to get a rise out of him by calling his mom an individual who asks money for pleasure, not to mention, I‘m not gonna actually make contact here, it‘s gonna be an acting show, a choreography with taps that look “hard”.

 

So my questions are, “Is that really reality?” and “Are we really showing the actuality of it or are we just showing what we think and we want people to think is reality?” I mean in an actual assault or an attack, very rarely people do see it coming, and even when they do, they’re still overwhelmed by the sheer aggression, it’s sudden, our hands are shaking, our legs feel weak, our stomachs are churning and we’re basically too busy crying and asking ourselves questions like, “What the hell is happening?” and “Why the fuck is this happening to me?”

 

I’m pretty sure, that most who just train for their kind of “reality”, where the guy they know is coming, charging at them without any purpose, without thinking about any of the events leading up to the escalation of the situation and violence, that kind of individual will not only, not see the threat coming, but they will crumble under pressure due to the aggressive nature of the actuality and suddenness of violence, as they won‘t see it coming like they did in their fancy studio. Not to mention, fail miserably to deescalate the violence in the first place due to lack of verbal skills necessary to not provoke the guy even further by challenging or insulting him.

 

So, my opinion here is that, the best training is something that encompasses every subject related to violence, which includes not only physical, but verbal, psychological, emotional, biological, societal, moral, consequential, tactical and a very important aspect; Legal.

 

As far as the physical training goes, scenario training is great, but without purpose, it loses it’s purpose, which is to mold your brain to handle and resolve or combat threats if/when you come across them by utilizing our brain’s neuroplasticity. Blindly creating aggressive scenarios without any situational context and escalation, is just inviting more trouble and is not training for the actual thing, it’s just training for more senseless violence. So please, Train street smarts and common sense, rather than senseless violence.

 

Finally, my question to you, the reader; What are you gonna train for? ‘The reality of violence?’ or ‘The actuality of it?’.

 

Well, that’s it. Thank you for reading.